Naughty Little Suck-a-Thumb

I cannot count the number of women who’ve said to me, on discovering I’m a coach, something like “Must be fun telling people what to do” or “I’d be good at that – I give great advice”.

Neither thing, dear hearts, is what I do.

Things I do not do:

Empower you. How can I? Your power is yours to notice and claim and step into.

Define you – that’s 100% your job.

Tell you what to do/ suggest a course of action/ advise you/ imply in ANY way that I know what’s best for you. No. Never. You, and only you, know what’s best for you.

Heal you or make you whole – because you already are healed and whole. You are NOT flawed or broken, in any way at all.

Railroad you into anything – belief systems; strings of ‘how-tos”; thinking, talking or being any particular way but that which is intrinsically you; paying for anything you don’t need or won’t benefit from, or working with me for one minute beyond what’s, well, working.

I mean, I’m not saying I don’t feel quite strongly about some things: for example – don’t use books as coasters. (Really, don’t, except possibly the books of V.S. Naipaul who, if you’re a woman, would gladly use anything you wrote as kindling.)

Don’t text while driving (and I am talking to you, young man on the I10 last night driving along TEXTING at 40 mph, who made a very rude gesture when I parped my horn and waved an admonishing finger).

Don’t amputate your cat’s toes – declawing, nope. I know we were brought up with brutality, some of us, but jeez….

That kind of thing.

But when it comes to your power, agency and sovereignty, they are yours and I step back in awe at the sheer wonder of you.

You are powerful and brilliant. You matter in this world. Your work matters in this world. Your dreams and desires matter. And your voice matters.