What if something you see as a failing is actually an exceptional gift?

SCANNERS is a term coined by the lovely Barbara Sher in her book Refuse to Choose.

She wrote that “some individuals cannot, and should not, decide on a single path; they are genetically wired to pursue many areas”.

Scanners are easily bored. We leave jobs, hobbies, cities, homes – not because we’re capricious, skittish, erratic hopeless cases – but because we got what we came for and are ready to move on!

It’s perhaps no coincidence that many of my clients, when I explain the scanner idea to them, relate to it, and are profoundly relieved and their burden lightened.

When I heard about it, a whole new sense of freedom and self-acceptance washed over me.

But really, Barbara Sher just came up with a word for what was always true.

We don’t need, in any way, to be improved or changed. However we choose to live our lives is fine.

And we may have multiple threads coursing through our lives. Everything’s always up for grabs, and we can choose a new path at any time.

I think of a client who works in a male-dominated, high-powered field.

She does her job really well, AND includes in that her personal mission to introduce compassion and a sense of introspection to the company, and in particular to help empower and support the women there.

Someone else found success working in the media, to her highest capability and satisfaction.

Then she pivoted and found a new purpose in creating healthy and nourishing beauty products, giving employment and support to underprivileged women.

I myself have had many, many career threads, the main ones being TV researcher, TV producer, film festival director, textile design consultant and, now, transformational coach and writer.

And what I’ve seen very clearly is that I bring ALL of myself – my history, skills, and gifts – to bear in each new thing. Nothing is wasted, nothing’s a mistake.

The world IS your oyster, my friend.

To think that we do not have full and magnificent potential is to believe the conditioned thinking we’ve internalized that does NOT serve us or encourage us to be fully expressed in the world.

That nagging “Life’s passing me by – what am I doing with my life?” feeling.

That awful “What if I’ve missed what I was put here to do?” feeling.

That “I have no idea what my purpose is, please help me find it” plea.

These are painful places to be, my friend, and I know all too well the impulse simply to avoid them, to distract ourselves from them.

I was trained to respond to these questions by putting clients through their paces, exploring personality type, childhood pastimes and so on.

These techniques can be helpful in the short term, BUT we’re really using them to try to find something that we already have, and that is NOT to be found where we’re looking.

This can be disappointing when we find that the change we want doesn’t seem to be sustainable.

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Do you know that old story about the chap searching around under a street light? A passerby asks him what he’s looking for and he says he’s lost his keys.

The passerby joins in to help him look but after a while, when they haven’t found anything, asks “Where did you drop them exactly?”

The first fellow says, ‘Well I dropped them over there by my car, but the light’s better here”.

THIS is what the self-help industry, with the best intentions in the world, sometimes does.

Let’s not do that any more.

So when we look behind tools and techniques for finding the life we want – what’s there?

Here are a few things to play with:

1. Close your eyes for a second and just imagine that you, yes, you, are perfectly, impeccably made. That everything you desire, everything you love, is an intrinsic part of you and was absolutely intended to be there. That you’re not flawed or less-than-whole.

That might feel like a beautiful relief – or what might arise is a screed of “Yes, but…” thoughts. “Yes, but I am flawed because [this that or the other thing happened to me].” “Yes, but I don’t think it’s true”.

2. Try this on for size: everything after the “but” is not the truth. Here’s what is: You are not flawed – you are unharmed.

Let’s pretend for a minute that THIS is true. Allow your mind to settle – let those thoughts drift away like leaves floating downstream.

3. Turn your attention to these questions:

If it IS true that I’m perfectly made – what might life look like?

What might I be able to give myself permission to do or be?

I always want to point you, my friend, to where your wisdom and guidance actually ARE.

And to support you in learning to enjoy living that way, instead of thinking you’re somehow wrong, or on the wrong path.

We have limitless resources within us that enable us to create exactly what we want.

Once you see that you find your purpose in living it, everything looks different and life starts to be lived with ease and grace.